.butterfly in stomach.

:)

26 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment

by cawan in l.i.f.e

diri ini takut..andai DIA makin hilang kan terus perasaan..lantas tangan diangkat saat bermunajat bersama  DIA supaya jangan dihilangkan persaaan..mengharap DIA mengurniakan seribu kekuatan, kematangan akal dan fikiran agar dapat menghadapi setiapnya dengan redha…Ya ALLAH, Ya Rahman Ya Rahim..padaMU ku bersujud meminta agar segalanya dimakbulkan..meminta agar diberikan aku kekuatan…jangan hilangkan terush perasaan ini..kerna aku masih memerlukannya…

:|

26 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment

by cawan in l.i.f.e

hanya kata-kata..hanya ayat..tapi tidak pernah punya tindakan..ruang diberi, peluang dibagi..seolah2 diri bagaikan patung yang hanya menurut setiap langkah dan kehendak..meminta untuk difahami,tapi tidak pernah memahami.cuba untuk memahami adakah cinta itu hanya datang dr perkataan yang keluar dari mulut,mahupun ayat dari penulisan tapi bukan dari tindakan atau gaya..bukankah perkataan dan tindakan itu perlu?tidak pernah meminta lebih dari segalanya, hanya cuba untuk memahami sedikit dari keseluruhan..cuba letakan diri didalam kasut yang bersaiz 6 ini..cuba letakkan perasaan sendiri didalam perasaan yang tersimpan disebalik keceriaan ini..diri bukan patung, malah bukan robot yang hanya perlu menganggukan kepala walau saat itu tidak setuju.cuba untuk memahami supaya ianya terjadi dengan bahagia..tp makin hari makin sempit fikiran dan makin kurang perasaan…

:(

19 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment

by cawan in l.i.f.e

its hurt me..and i dunno why…ape yg kurang?ape yg xde?shit!! sendirian lebih bermakna dari mengharapkan sesuatu yang tidak pernah pasti…berundur lah wahai hati..andai ini jalan yg terbaik dari mengharapkan segalanya menjadi mungkin.berdiri lah sendiri seteguh mungkin andai itu yang lebih mengembirakan..

~this is the story~

04 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment

by cawan in l.i.f.e

**06/29/2006-1148 a.m…i’ve got it from someone that i’ve called him “mr webcam”…still in a gud condition.i’ve kept it..its been 4 years, still remember he called me..the way he speak, the way he laugh..thank u so damn much for this…

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick” she said; he’s not going to go well, I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn’t think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “you’re my best friend, thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!”. She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: “I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! I wish I did too… I thought to my self, and I cried.

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U

I Love U…”

…..

02 Mar 2010 2 Comments

by cawan in l.i.f.e

Bila melihat dia..hati berbisik, kemana perginya bahagia untuk diri ini.bila melihat pelangi, hati mendengus dikit, kenapa tak bisa berdiri setinggi itu..bila melihat bulan malam hati merayu, kenapa diri ini tak bisa untuk menyinari semuanya. Berlari menyelinap sedikit bagi melihat dimana dan bagaimana kebahagiaan bisa membahagiakan mereka.Diri termanggu-manggu mencari dimana silapnya, dimana kurang nya sehingga kan sering dipermainkan.Ligatnya otak berfikir, lemah nya badan mengawal keadaan. Harus meniti setiap jalan dengan tabah. Harus gagah dalam menjalani segalanya..Dimana kekuatan yang harus diminta?.Mengharap DIA bisa memberikan 1000 kekuatan untuk menjalani hari-hari-NYA dengan sabar dan tabah…..Ya Rahman Ya Rahim…segalanya datang dari-MU…